You may or may not be aware (and if you’re not aware – what is wrong with you?) that the biennial
Japan Mobility Show, previously known as the Tokyo Motor Show, will be held at Tokyo Big Sight in
less than a month.
Luckily – for you! – your trusty Car Pit team will be attending this carnival of conveyances, and
bringing you all there is to know about the future of getting around using literally anything other
than our own accursed legs.
Will there be hoverboards?
No.
Will there be hoverbikes?
Also no.
Will there be unhinged PR stunts, a few cars, and a plethora of gratuitous robots?
Hoah. Haha. You bet your life there will.
Also, maybe there will be hoverbikes.
In the meantime, the exhibitors – all 400 or so of them – are working overtime to build hype for their
respective automobiles. And most news outlets, unaware that they are burying the lede, are
foolishly reporting on the actual, well… cars.
Get a clue, guys. The real story lies in the truly, truly unhinged press releases being perpetrated by
such manufacturers as Honda, who inform us that their booth this year has the theme “The Power of
Dreams – How we move you.”
So far so normal. Things take a turn for the weird, however, when you read on.
“The dreams of each and every one working at Honda have always been the driving force of Honda,
and a variety of mobility products and services Honda creates with such power of dreams will move
people physically, move people’s hearts, and help many people realize their dreams so that there
will be an expanse of dreams toward the future.”
I just… I just need a car to get me to work, guys. And maybe impress dudes, I don’t know.
But oh – they are not done. Not done with this press release, and not done saying dream way more
than is strictly necessary.
“[…] at the JAPAN MOBILITY SHOW 2023, Honda will showcase its dreams in the form of mobility
products, services and technologies, which will enable people to ‘transcend various constraints such
as time and place,’ and ‘augment their abilities and possibilities.’ The exhibits at the Honda booth
will offer the visitors an opportunity to imagine their own future dreams and experience the expanse
of new dreams.”
Based on this last paragraph, I can only assume that Honda has built a functioning time machine
which they plan to unveil at Japan Mobility Show 2023. They’re being coy about it, but the hints are
there if you know what to look for.
So – cars shmars, hoverbikes shmoverbikes! Prepare yourselves for an honest to god DeLorean,
folks. The future is just slightly in the future.
